• Standards/requirements identification documents (S/RIDS)
• Identifying environmental safety and health requirements for the Fernald Environmental Restoration Management Corporation
• Identifying environmental safety and health requirements for an Environmental Restoration Management Contractor

(If you worked for the Department of Energy during this Golden Era, you can find other papers at the Information Bridge of the Office of Scientific and Technical Information.)

What did I learn when writing these papers and in looking at them now?

1. I learned that you can’t always list the authors in order of who really contributed the most, nor can you even list them alphabetically. It’s political. I won’t break any confidences, but there is at least one person named on one of these papers who never added a word and I’ll bet he’s never even read the paper.
2. I learned that sometimes “political correctness” can almost get in the way of the truth. In one of the papers I had referred to all the experts working for me as “he.” The conference editor kept insisting that I should say “he or she.” I kept telling her that this was a report of an actual event and that all the experts had been men. (Yes, there was a problem with that, but it wasn’t with the paper; it was in the hiring, but that’s not the editor’s bailiwick.) Finally in a phone call I said to her very slowly, “There were no women. They were all ‘hes.’” She said that well, OK, she would let me say, “he.” I decided it would be inappropriate to say, “That’s real white of you.” I didn’t think she’d understand sarcasm.
3. I learned that even though I was a good writer back then that I had lots of room for improvement. I look at the writing now and shudder. And I was trying to avoid passive voice!
4. I can’t remember if the problems with the hyphens instead of “em” dashes were my mistakes or theirs, but they sure stand out. Ditto for the two spaces after a period. These papers look very old to me. They might as well have been written in 1894!
5. I’m shocked to find out that I used “Additionally” to start a sentence. I would have sworn on a stack of Bibles that I have never done that in my life.
6. I also learned on one paper in particular that I could write while on maternity leave. Should I have been working while on maternity leave? Uh, no. For more info on that I refer you to the opening paragraph.

How do you know whether to accept a new client or show that client to the door? Over the past two decades of editing the work of others (and being edited, myself, for more than that), I’ve developed a radar for “high-maintenance” clients.

Cave summus sustentationem Lorem! So what is a high-maintenance client?

• She wants to tell you why she wrote everything she wrote.
• He pushes back on your corrections and wants to explain his logic. There is no explanation needed for putting an apostrophe in “their’s.”
• She sees your meetings to review your critiques as a conversation and does not understand that the meter is running.
• He doesn’t learn from one project to the next and repeats the same mistakes.
• She expects you to be available at all hours, placing her work before any other clients’ and valuing her needs more than your personal time.
• He doesn’t accept your expertise.

How can you tell if your editing relationship is not going to work? It’s better to figure this out up front, before you’ve wasted your time and (heaven forbid) completed a project for which you never get paid. (And that’s happened to me, too.)

• Pay attention to how the person communicates orally. That gives you one clue to his or her written communication skills. They’re not the same: lots of writers can’t talk well, for example. But if someone is arrogant in person, he might be arrogant on paper and when receiving criticism.
• Or the person might have a lovely personality but have trouble recognizing boundaries. Does it bother you if someone from work calls you at home? Do you want to communicate through e-mail and this client keeps calling you? Do you give your clients your business e-mail and one leaves you messages on your Facebook wall? Pay attention to these details.
• Ask for three to five pages on a “trial” basis. Some editors don’t charge for this; I do, usually, unless I’m doing it as part of a workshop. You’ll get to see what their writing is like and they’ll get to see how you edit. You’ll also get to see how they take feedback. The benefit to charging for even a few pages is that sometimes you get to see if the person is a tightwad.
• If the writer is also a college instructor, check out “Rate My Professor” at ratemyprofessor.com. It’s a website for college students to talk very bluntly about their instructors. (If you’re an instructor, you might want to pour yourself a drink before you check it out for the first time.) Here’s what one student said about a potential client of mine: “Not for the young or opinionated. Hard headed and not open minded. You will never be right, ever! Only good thing is makes your brain work harder just to try and shut him up.” A student three months earlier said, “Would not recommend taking his class because he’s always thinks he’s right on every topic.” This is exactly the kind of client I do not want.
• Just because you went out on one date doesn’t mean you’re now in a committed relationship. I give my clients an estimate and ask for half up front. At the end, I bill them for the remainder, based on my time spent. Recently a new client sent me her manuscripts for two books but neglected to send the deposit. Foolishly, I edited them anyway. I should have reminded her about the deposit and waited. When I told her that I was finished with the editing and billed her for the remainder, she had a family member call me to demand her manuscripts back. I calmly told her that as soon as my bill was paid she would get them. “That’s all?!” Well, yeah, just like at the dry cleaner, I wanted to say.

What about you other editors out there? What have you learned?

And writers: read these warning signs and take heed. Don’t say to yourself, “Yeah, but I’m different. She knows I’m just kidding….” Or “But my book is really good, so I want to make sure they read it.”

Usually the efforts that writers put into “making sure” that the editors read the book would be better spent making sure that the book was written well.

• This past Thursday night I started another six-week session of Writing to Publish: Level II for UC’s Communiversity.
• Starting Monday, Jan. 23, from noon to 2 p.m., I’ll be teaching an eight-week session of Introduction to Writing for Women Writing for a Change. (I’m sorry, but the WWfaC course is for women only.)
• At 2 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 12, we’re holding another Writing Workshop Workshop at Olive’s in Clifton. on Ludlow Ave. Bring a manuscript to share and $5 for the kitty (more if you want to eat).
• Finally, on Wednesday, Mar. 28, I’ll be teaching a new six-week Communiversity Course for UC called Writing to Publish: Level III.

For yesterday’s participants: did you feel as if your head was spinning and you couldn’t write fast enough? For those who couldn’t make it: are you kicking yourself now? Never fear! Sign up now for the Write On! Workshop that we’re holding in Dayton on March 31, 2012. See you there!

Publishing experts Wendy Hart Beckman and Valerie J. Lewis Coleman present an informative and entertaining workshop that will motivate you to start or complete your writing project with Write On! Workshop Cincy Style: Sunday, January 15, 2012, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. We’ll answer your questions about fiction and nonfiction, traditional and self-publishing, as well as how to market your book.

Special Guest: We’ll be joined by Stephen E. Gillen of Wood Herron & Evans. Steve has been consistently recognized by U.S. News, Cincinnati Magazine, Cincy Magazine and other organizations as one of the best Intellectual Property, Advertising Law and Publishing Law attorneys in Cincinnati, the state of Ohio and the United States. Not only that, but he is a great speaker! Steve will talk to the workshop participants about contracts and copyrights.

Highlights

Navigate the Ins and Outs of Fiction Writing

Wendy Beckman enlightens you with techniques that bring life to your novel. Utilize multiple writing tools with precision. Write from the perspective of an editor and captivate your audience from start to finish.

Just the Facts, Ma’am — Nonfiction Writing

Wendy will explain the different types of nonfiction and help you spice up your writing. Discover your best opportunities to getting published. Learn the best ways to break into publishing.

Attract Traditional Publishers

Wendy expounds on publishing your books with a traditional, commercial publisher from formatting your manuscript to submitting queries and proposals. Understand the various types of editors. Recognize critical elements in a contract. Find out how to get an agent — or if you need one at all!

Master Self-Publishing and Make Money

Now that you’ve got manuscript in hand, what’s next? Valerie Coleman provides step-by-step instructions to establish your own publishing company. Discover how to price, prep and print your book. Find out what it takes to manage your small press and make money.

Marketing 101

Valerie shares proven techniques to get your title noticed and off the shelves. Gain knowledge about publicists, distributors and Internet marketing. Understand the advantages of book clubs, trade shows and having confidence in your product.

Location: Refuge Coffee Bar

Address: 5010 Glenway Ave., Cincinnati OH 45238
Landmarks: At the corner of Glenway and Ferguson, across the street from Burger King.
Phone: 513-429-4215
Parking is available in back, accessible from Ferguson or Glenway.

Cost: $99 covers all instruction and lunch

Please note that this month we will be starting a half hour earlier than usual.

Olive’s on Ludlow:

That building has been many things. The last restaurant in that place was Uno’s. It is also known as the Ludlow Garage. They’re giving us a private room. If you arrive a few minutes early, you can try the all-you-can-eat buffet for $9.95, get yourself settled and then not worry about talking to a waiter!

Please let me know if you will be joining us — and feel free to invite a friend!

See you Sunday, December 18, at 1:30 p.m. at Olive’s!

Novelist Nancy Pickard, who was Saturday’s keynote speaker, is teaching the daily morning fiction session, which is open to all participants of the workshop. Today she talked about something that many writers of fiction forget.

“Readers have heard similarly structured stories all their lives,” she said, “so they have subconscious expectations: that your story will have a beginning, a middle, and an end. As writers, we can deliver on these expectations or not.”

However, she pointed out, if we fail to recognize that our readers have these subconscious expectations and do not deliver on them, then “it is like handing a hungry person a piece of wood to gnaw on.”

Hmmm. Now if I combine that with what novelist Tim Waggoner said in his Saturday morning keynote for the Saturday-only participants, it explains why I don’t enjoy many pieces of literary fiction.

Tim was asked to explain the difference between mainstream or genre fiction and literary fiction. He said if you take the former, then chop off the beginning and the end, then write it in present tense, you have literary fiction.

Yep, just like gnawing on a hunk of wood.

What do you all think? Do you read much literary fiction?